The Official Statement on Communion
The Office of the Future Pope, Aaron would like to issue a statement laying out more of Aaron’s proposed platform if he is elected Pope.
Aaron proposes a change in the sacraments used during Communion. Aaron believes that in this day and age the use of wine could be construed by some as irresponsible. Instead Aaron is proposing that the wine be replaced with bourbon. In Aaron’s opinion the wine is too weak in its current form and believes that the burning sensation of bourbon will remind Catholics about how Jesus suffered and died for their sins.
[On a side note, Aaron is of the belief that if bourbon had been invented 1600 years earlier, Jesus and the Apostles would have drunk bourbon at the last supper.]
Aaron is also proposing that the communion wafers be replaced with Ritz crackers. Let’s be honest, nobody likes the wafers but who doesn’t love a Ritz.
To avoid confusion Aaron has decided to endorse one brand of bourbon as the Official communion bourbon of the Catholic Church and that Bourbon is . . .
The Official Bourbon is . . .
Jim Beam is the new official bourbon of the Future Pope. With its affordability and all around great taste, Jim Beam is the perfect choice. Whether it is starting your Saturday night off with a little communion or starting the wedding reception just a bit early, Jim Beam is the right selection.
[Editor's Note: Popeaaron.com was not paid by Jim Beam for our endorsement. Aaron just really loves the stuff.]